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DATING IN KOREA
Most local Koreans are very easily approachable. Many will be curious about you, and after you say “hi”, usually first, you will get a good sense of whether or not this person is interested in conversing with you. Sometimes Koreans will be too shy, or lack English enough for talking. This will contribute to their possible lack of interest. Being yourself is a great idea. Relax, take your time, don’t think too much ahead or raise your expectations. Have patience if communication is slow and enjoy yourself. You will know naturally and perhaps fairly quickly if there is a natural connection and attraction for further dating of someone. This can account true for anywhere in the world. Many Koreans hang out with several friends at once, both male and female. For many locals, hanging out with a group of friends like this can take the place of dating. It is less formal and more relaxed in this setting. But also, as a foreigner it can be a bit different, especially if one would like a one-one date. Keep in mind hanging out as friends, and no one-one dating is Especially common for younger generations, early 20’s so to speak. Often within a group of friends, some may pair up as a couple. If you find yourself in this boat and would like to see someone alone, simply ask. It cannot hurt to ask, but ask casually. The word 'meeting' in Korea can refer to an informal gathering of friends, or co-workers or even family. It can often refer to any general meeting, work or at play. It can also refer to dating. According to English journalist Michael Breen, "The Koreans", "Some 'meetings' begin as group affairs and couples pair off". As a Westerner we tend to date someone and pre-commit fairly early. This is usually not the case for young Koreans. In the beginning you may feel you are dating someone and have some commitment, but in fact this person may feel like you are just hanging out, as friends, with no further commitment at all. He or she may have several girl or boy friends, in the strictest of friends sense, and often meet different people. For Westerners, this can be strange. In this case one may become jealous. It is not a good idea to get jealous or at least show any jealousy when first getting to know someone, or that usually means good-bye. For dating Korean women, ‘good-bye’ can often come very easy in the beginning. This is especially true if one shows any jealousy, impatience, anger general drunkenness, or other otherwise turn-off traits, unless of course, your dating partner shows similar traits. A good rule of thumb is to be on your best behaviour for the first 6 months. Again, be yourself, especially when looking for a significant. Taking people at face value is your best bet. Also, often hearing a local saying “no” to something a couple times, then yes, is a common a Korean style as well. Asking ‘three times’ for something is very common for many locals. This may include asking for a second date for example, three times. Remember, “third times a charm.” Do not be discouraged if dating someone does not work out. There are many people in Korea. If you are looking for Mr. or Miss right, be patient. If you are just having fun, even more reason not to be discouraged. For me, it took the first few years in Korea, before finding ‘miss right’. On the first few dates to get to know someone you may want to have a nice casual date. Dinner and a movie are considered more of a formal date in Korea, but a great idea for a first date anywhere. Drinks at a pub and live music are always great. A walk on the beach, or simply go to a nice coffee shop and see what happens. Nothing fancy shows you are relaxed and casual, with no expectations. It is usually better to date someone who has some interest in Westerners and or Western culture, unless you are one who is good or at least adequate in speaking the Korean language. Many Koreans want to live and study English abroad, or at least visit a Western nation. In the case of those who have, their English may be fairly good. Of course it helps if you too have an interest in Korea and its language as well. The more genuine interest you have of each other’s culture and language, the better your chances of good communication and a possible relationship.
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